Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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