you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The adults are the big ones right?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
