you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
