Yo dont text me then not text me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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