Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
