just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
