You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
