I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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