your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
