its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
