I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
