why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
