I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
