office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
