So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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