i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
