im six kinds of drunk right now
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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