duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
