But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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