drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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