In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
