Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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