just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
