Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
