i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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