Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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