Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
