I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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