My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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