never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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