i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
