paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
