NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
