My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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