We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
someone get that fucking seahorse.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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