i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize