no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I want to be your penis for a week.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
