Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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