My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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