He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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