i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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