you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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