she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
