Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
