Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
All I want is dick and wine.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
