Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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