idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize