I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
