we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
