I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you didnt know i had herpes?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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