i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
