My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
