so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
