Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
