She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
When are your genitals available?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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