Pappa wants mamma naked
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
as a side note pls kill me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
