After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
