i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
