one two three fourrrrnication!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
