PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
