dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Randomize
