what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
