Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
